CraptasticBlog

Michael Douglas is truly our greatest living actor. He’s not your greatest living actor. Craptastic has kidnapped him in order to learn the secret to his methods. We felt like our acting skills could be taken to the level after the next level. Right now, we’re just pretending when we act, rather than being, feeling, exisiting, etc. The cleft chinned legend will give us a different lesson every day, then we will release him. Today, the lesson is:

HOW TO RECEIVE ORAL SEX FOR THE CAMERA

1. Use your Location
Where are you when you are getting some oral sex? Are you in your office, which is currently undergoing a major renovation?

Use your surroundings! Grab on to some scaffolding or tarp, whatever is there.

2. It’s all in the EYES

What is your character thinking about? We, the audience, want to know. “I’m so glad this is not my wife” or “Is there a camera in this elevator?” or “What’s for lunch?”

3. Upside Down Acting

Sometimes fancy foreign directors will get creative and shoot from weird angles. Don’t be distracted and focus on the moment and being present.

4. Sometimes It Hurts

Not every BJ scene is a walk in the park. Sometimes you have to act like you just got your penis chomped on by your partner. To transition from the ultimate pleasure to ultimate pain is difficult and you can hurt yourself. Do stretches and be careful of your scene partners’ hair and neck.

Come back tomorrow for Lesson #140: WEAR THE SUIT, DON’T LET IT WEAR YOU